It’s been a rough couple of weeks for M0m and our family. She’s been struggling with a urinary tract infection for the past few months which is zapping her energy and making her confused. We’ve become pretty good at recognizing her UTI’s because she doesn’t get a fever or show any signs of infection. We notice a certain “stare” or “look” about her. She also gets very absent minded and confused.
Mom was finally admitted to the hospital last week to rehydrate her and to give her an IV antibiotic treatment. We try to get the doctor to admit her to the hospital when she reaches this stage so she can get the attention she needs but it’s a hard sell if she doesn’t have a fever or show obvious signs of distress.
They only kept her overnight and released her suddenly late in the day after telling me she would be staying for a few days. It was like they suddenly needed a bed so they released her. When I arrived to pick her up she was in the hallway in a wheelchair with her nightgown on. She had an IV in her, a catheter and a plug up her nose to stop a bloody nose. She didn’t look ready to be released!!
I took Mom back to her apartment at the senior home and helped her get settled. She was totally confused and kept getting out of bed. I asked where she was going and she kept saying “I don’t know”. I finally got her to stay in bed and sat with her until she fell asleep. It was like putting my kids to bed when they were infants. In fact Mom’s acting more and more like an infant every day.
Many times over the past few days I’ve had to dress and undress my mother. There’s nothing more humiliating than a 53 year old son changing his mother’s diaper and dressing her. I guess it would be more humiliating for her if she realized what was happening to her but that part of her mind doesn’t function anymore. It’s so, so hard to watch her fade away mentally.
The next day Mom went to the dining room for lunch and took a hard fall. She hit her head requiring 3 stitches and hurt her back. They took her to the ER in an ambulance and checked her out but sent her home despite our pleas to keep her in for evaluation. She’s now in severe pain and requires 24 care. The caretakers tell us every morning that she’s not sleeping at all at night and keeps getting up and wandering around her apartment.
Over the weekend she called me and my sister over and over. It seemed like she was confused and was searching for a familiar voice. She’s struggling so much right now and there’s nothing we can do to help her except comforting her. Watching your parents grow old sucks!
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
Mom was released from the hospital yesterday after 11 days. What a roller coaster ride it’s been! The doctors were stuck on the fact that one of her brain scans showed signs of a stroke and they were convinced that was the reason she could not swallow properly. They didn’t feed her for 10 days while they waited to see if she would get strong enough to eat. If she couldn’t eat she couldn’t get stronger so round and round we went. The strange thing is that she made a dramatic recovery in just 24 hours after barely hanging on a few days earlier.
We knew they were getting ready to release her because Medicare was about to stop paying for the pneumonia illness which was almost gone. Even though she was weak and hadn’t eaten in over a week, they were going to release her.
Finally they gave her some pudding to test her ability to swallow and she did fine except she sneezed 4 times in a row as soon as she swallowed it. We all looked at each other and said “Mom’s back!” because she’s been sneezing after every meal forever. Her Mother also sneezed after every meal so we assumed it was a family trait.
The doctor said it wasn’t good that she sneezed after she swallowed because that’s a sign she was aspirating. She’s been aspirating most of her life and it was never a problem until now. They stopped feeding her and said we may have to think about hospice since she didn’t want a feeding tube.
We were perplexed. Mom looked better than she’s looked in years despite being on just IV’s for more than a week but they were talking about putting her out to pasture. When she was at her weakest point she said she just wanted to die and didn’t ever want a feeding tube so they took that literally and gave up on her.
On Sunday morning we received a call from the hospital and they wanted permission to put in a feeding tube because she needed nutrition. Mom agreed it was okay so they were ready to put in the tube. Before they put in the tube they decided to try some soft food to see what would happen. Mom ate the food and wanted more. No sneezing, no coughing, no problem!
Finally we were heading in the right direction and Mom was on the road to recovery!!
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
Mom has been in the hospital for 8 days now and her pneumonia is almost gone. She’s still having trouble swallowing so she hasn’t eaten since last Thursday, over 9 days ago. It looks like she had a minor stroke at some point which could have caused the swallowing problem, hence the pneumonia.
We have a meeting this afternoon with the hospital case worker and I know what it’s about. We went through a similar meeting with the hospital when Dad became ill. The hospital will say the initial illness has been cured so they have to discharge the patient even though there are other issues. In Mom’s case, she can’t eat anything but since the pneumonia is gone the hospital can’t bill Medicare any more. Of course they discharge the patient ASAP so they’re not on the hook for the bills. When the patient enters a new facility for rehab, Medicare kicks in again. You wonder why the hospital doesn’t keep the patient until all problems are resolved? I do see their point that the patient needs more attention then they get in the hospital and special care so a rehab facility is a better place for her.
In my Dad’s case, they just discharged him and said they were sending him to a rehab facility. We didn’t know anything about the procedures and the reasoning so went along with them. It turns out they put him in a horrible facility where they yelled at him when he tried to get out of bed. He was weak and disoriented and they treated him like a piece of meat. It was horrible.
After about 10 days they told us they were discharging him. In other terms, Medicare stopped paying for his care. We had to find another place for him in less than 48 hours and we didn’t know what to do. Here’s a man with stage 4 stomach cancer without a place to go to be cared for.
Later we discovered that a hospital or rehab facility can not discharge a patient without providing us 3 options. If we don’t like any of the options they have to keep the patient until they provide us an acceptable alternative. I’m sure they’re going to tell us today that Mom will soon be discharged and will be moving to a rehab facility before returning home.
Wish me luck!
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
Mom usually calls us a few times a day if we don’t call her first. I usually call her every morning on my way to work but I didn’t call today because Friday morning is her “hair” day. She’s usually up and out the door by 9:30 to get her hair done and I don’t want to make her late.
On Friday none of us heard from her and she didn’t answer her home phone or cell phone. Since she didn’t answer we assumed she was just out on a field trip with her friends.
Finally her caretaker reached her at 4:30. Mom said she got her hair done and went to lunch. She’s had a cold and she said she was tired and didn’t feel well but we didn’t think there was any reason to worry. She’d be heading down for dinner at 5 followed by Bingo or poker after dinner.
We tried to call her at 8 for our nightly check in but she didn’t answer either phone. Finally my sister called the front desk to have them check on her. The night clerk went upstairs and said he thought he woke her and she was tired but fine.
I decided to go check on her in person because she’s never hard to reach. I had the night clerk open her door because she wasn’t answering the door. We went in and she was passed out on the bed partially clothed. We tried to revive her but she was very weak and dehydrated. There was a trail of clothes and jewelry on the floor and we couldn’t find her cell phone. I called 911 to get her to the hospital.
I was worried because she was wearing the top to the sweatsuit she wore on Thursday and never wears the same clothes two days in a row. Also the Friday morning paper was still outside her door so it looked like she never left her apartment.
Did she really get her hair done and have lunch in the dining room? Her hair was a mess and she was completely out of it. I asked the night clerk if she really did go down for lunch and dinner and he wasn’t sure. It looked like she’d been in bed since Thursday night and couldn’t get out of bed to call for help. Our worst nightmare was happening.
It turns out Mom has pneumonia and possibly congestive heart failure. She’s in the hospital now struggling to breathe and is very disoriented. She’s not responding to 2 1/2 days of treatment and we’re very concerned. This doesn’t look good.
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
I keep hearing the Robert Palmer song, Doctor Doctor (Bad Case of Loving You) when my mother tells me how many doctor’s appointments she has every week.
This week she had seven doctor/alternative healing/massage/reflexology appointments. Every day she has a busy schedule running all over Marin county looking for the “magic pill” that’s going to make her feel better.
Mom has arthritis. She wakes up every day stiff and has trouble moving until she gets out of bed and starts moving around. I’m stiff in the morning and need to stretch when I wake up to get the kinks out. But Mom thinks she should wake up pain free every morning so she’s on a quest to beat father time.
Mom complains that she’s tired all the time. I’d be tired too if I was constantly running around to doctor’s appointments. She’s almost 79 years old so of course you don’t have the energy you had when you were 29. But Mom still thinks theres a magic pill or a doctor that can restore her energy.
The biggest problem is that Mom is one of those people tha thinks out loud so she’s constantly talking about every ache and pain. It’s a constant monolog of complaining and I’m really tired of hearing it. I keep telling her to focus on positive thoughts and what’s going well for her but she constantly sees the glass as half empty. She’ll never change this late in life because she doesn’t want to change. She prefers to focus on the “poor me” attitude which she’s had all of her life. It’s going be a long road so I have to keep taking deep breaths and counting to 5 before I respond to her negativity.
Mail this postPopularity: 87% [?]
Recent Comments