It’s been a rough couple of weeks for M0m and our family. She’s been struggling with a urinary tract infection for the past few months which is zapping her energy and making her confused. We’ve become pretty good at recognizing her UTI’s because she doesn’t get a fever or show any signs of infection. We notice a certain “stare” or “look” about her. She also gets very absent minded and confused.
Mom was finally admitted to the hospital last week to rehydrate her and to give her an IV antibiotic treatment. We try to get the doctor to admit her to the hospital when she reaches this stage so she can get the attention she needs but it’s a hard sell if she doesn’t have a fever or show obvious signs of distress.
They only kept her overnight and released her suddenly late in the day after telling me she would be staying for a few days. It was like they suddenly needed a bed so they released her. When I arrived to pick her up she was in the hallway in a wheelchair with her nightgown on. She had an IV in her, a catheter and a plug up her nose to stop a bloody nose. She didn’t look ready to be released!!
I took Mom back to her apartment at the senior home and helped her get settled. She was totally confused and kept getting out of bed. I asked where she was going and she kept saying “I don’t know”. I finally got her to stay in bed and sat with her until she fell asleep. It was like putting my kids to bed when they were infants. In fact Mom’s acting more and more like an infant every day.
Many times over the past few days I’ve had to dress and undress my mother. There’s nothing more humiliating than a 53 year old son changing his mother’s diaper and dressing her. I guess it would be more humiliating for her if she realized what was happening to her but that part of her mind doesn’t function anymore. It’s so, so hard to watch her fade away mentally.
The next day Mom went to the dining room for lunch and took a hard fall. She hit her head requiring 3 stitches and hurt her back. They took her to the ER in an ambulance and checked her out but sent her home despite our pleas to keep her in for evaluation. She’s now in severe pain and requires 24 care. The caretakers tell us every morning that she’s not sleeping at all at night and keeps getting up and wandering around her apartment.
Over the weekend she called me and my sister over and over. It seemed like she was confused and was searching for a familiar voice. She’s struggling so much right now and there’s nothing we can do to help her except comforting her. Watching your parents grow old sucks!
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
- Image by Getty Images via @daylife
When is it time to move your parents into assisted living? Mom is currently in “independent living” at her facility where she lives alone and cares for herself. Lately she’s been declining and we’re getting concerned for her well being. Her mental abilities are declining rapidly and she’s completely disorganized.
We have a caretaker coming in every day for a few hours to clean up her daily mess and keep her company. On weekends we visit her and take her to movies and dinner. It’s been working so far but as she declines more, we’re going to have to move her into assisted living. She’s going to need more care very soon so we’re starting the search for assisted living.
We’re exploring different facilities in the area and we’re considering hiring a consultant or a service to help us find the right assisted living facility. We’re considering using a company called A Place for Mom. It’s a free service and looks like they have a good reputation.
Have you used A Place for Mom or a similar service? If you’ve used a service please comment on this post and let me know the name of the company and your experience with using a service. We’re going to need to make a decision in the next month or two so your input is much appreciated.
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
Mom usually calls us a few times a day if we don’t call her first. I usually call her every morning on my way to work but I didn’t call today because Friday morning is her “hair” day. She’s usually up and out the door by 9:30 to get her hair done and I don’t want to make her late.
On Friday none of us heard from her and she didn’t answer her home phone or cell phone. Since she didn’t answer we assumed she was just out on a field trip with her friends.
Finally her caretaker reached her at 4:30. Mom said she got her hair done and went to lunch. She’s had a cold and she said she was tired and didn’t feel well but we didn’t think there was any reason to worry. She’d be heading down for dinner at 5 followed by Bingo or poker after dinner.
We tried to call her at 8 for our nightly check in but she didn’t answer either phone. Finally my sister called the front desk to have them check on her. The night clerk went upstairs and said he thought he woke her and she was tired but fine.
I decided to go check on her in person because she’s never hard to reach. I had the night clerk open her door because she wasn’t answering the door. We went in and she was passed out on the bed partially clothed. We tried to revive her but she was very weak and dehydrated. There was a trail of clothes and jewelry on the floor and we couldn’t find her cell phone. I called 911 to get her to the hospital.
I was worried because she was wearing the top to the sweatsuit she wore on Thursday and never wears the same clothes two days in a row. Also the Friday morning paper was still outside her door so it looked like she never left her apartment.
Did she really get her hair done and have lunch in the dining room? Her hair was a mess and she was completely out of it. I asked the night clerk if she really did go down for lunch and dinner and he wasn’t sure. It looked like she’d been in bed since Thursday night and couldn’t get out of bed to call for help. Our worst nightmare was happening.
It turns out Mom has pneumonia and possibly congestive heart failure. She’s in the hospital now struggling to breathe and is very disoriented. She’s not responding to 2 1/2 days of treatment and we’re very concerned. This doesn’t look good.
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
Recent Comments