I keep hearing the Robert Palmer song, Doctor Doctor (Bad Case of Loving You) when my mother tells me how many doctor’s appointments she has every week.
This week she had seven doctor/alternative healing/massage/reflexology appointments. Every day she has a busy schedule running all over Marin county looking for the “magic pill” that’s going to make her feel better.
Mom has arthritis. She wakes up every day stiff and has trouble moving until she gets out of bed and starts moving around. I’m stiff in the morning and need to stretch when I wake up to get the kinks out. But Mom thinks she should wake up pain free every morning so she’s on a quest to beat father time.
Mom complains that she’s tired all the time. I’d be tired too if I was constantly running around to doctor’s appointments. She’s almost 79 years old so of course you don’t have the energy you had when you were 29. But Mom still thinks theres a magic pill or a doctor that can restore her energy.
The biggest problem is that Mom is one of those people tha thinks out loud so she’s constantly talking about every ache and pain. It’s a constant monolog of complaining and I’m really tired of hearing it. I keep telling her to focus on positive thoughts and what’s going well for her but she constantly sees the glass as half empty. She’ll never change this late in life because she doesn’t want to change. She prefers to focus on the “poor me” attitude which she’s had all of her life. It’s going be a long road so I have to keep taking deep breaths and counting to 5 before I respond to her negativity.
Mail this postPopularity: 87% [?]
We’re having a huge debate in our family. My mother has a laundry list of aches and pains (can you say hypochondriac?) She’s been going to every type of doctor and healer for years trying to get rid of her pain. She’s had a double knee replacement and back surgery and she still has pain. Recently she’s been doing physical therapy and getting injections in her back and hips to help the pain.
No matter what treatment she gets, she says she still has pain. After she gets a treatment I ask her how she’s feeling and most of the time she says she has no pain. When I ask a few days later, she stops and thinks for a few seconds and says her back hurts or her knees hurt. It seems more like a mantra than a real assessment of her pain.
Mom has always been the center of attention and I feel like this is her way to continue being the center of attention. I’m sure she has pain because she has arthritis in her back and hips. She wants to be 100% pain free 100% of the time which just isn’t realistic.
My sister Mary and I try to set her expectations that she has arthritis and she’s getting older. My sister Joan wants to try to fix Mom by taking her to endless holistic practitioners. Joan is just like Mom and wants to be 100% pain free 100% of the time. It’s a great goal but totally unrealistic. Joan’s spent thousands of dollars on holistic treatments and herbs for years and she still hasn’t reached her goal of being completely pain free.
Now Joan wants to take Mom on the holistic journey. Mom already goes to at least 5 appointments a week and Joan wants to increase that. She also wants to give her a megadose of herbs to treat every possible cause to her pain. Joan currently takes over 150 pills per day, all herbal, to prevent every possible disease.
Mary and I don’t want Mom to start taking 150 pills a day prescribed by unlicensed healers. The interaction of the herbs can kill her and we don’t think it will help. For holistic healing to work the patient has to believe in the treatment and really want to get better. Mom isn’t engaged mentally because of her dimensia and I really don’t believe she wants to be pain free. She needs something to complain about so she can stay the center of attention.
A huge family battle is brewing and I really don’t need this extra stress in my life. Taking care of Mom and running a business takes about 80 hours a week for me now. Adding this to the puzzle may put me over the edge.
Mail this postPopularity: 1% [?]
We went to the doctor the other day and Mom got the bad news. Her short-term memory and ability to learn new skills is only 20% of other 78 year olds. Mom has been forgetful for a few years and the mini-strokes have taken their toll. She’s very scattered and has lost her organizational skills. She can’t keep track of anything and struggles to get on the internet and to play a DVD on her television.
The doctor’s put her through a complete workup to identify the source of her headaches and forgetfullness. While it’s not Alzheimer’s, they’re treating it like it is. She’s now trying some medications to see if it will stabilize her memory and to prevent further memory loss. Her memory may improve a little but it won’t return to normal.
It’s hard watching a woman that was completely obsessed with cleanliness and neatness lose her ability to keep track of things. She’s constantly misplacing things and looking for something. She lost her wedding ring a few weeks ago and we still haven’t found it. It’s really hard to watch. It’s going to get a lot harder for us.
Mom is very healthy overall but her memory loss and arthritis are slowing her down. We pray that she doesn’t live to be 104 like her father or even 90 like her mother. Seeing her fade away for another 12 or 26 years would be really hard to watch.
Tags: Alheimer’s, getting old, , memory loss
Mail this postPopularity: 92% [?]
Recent Comments