Helping Mom remember how to care for herself

Mom’s been back home about a month after her 2 1/2 month hospital/rehab adventure from pneumonia. She started out so well, getting up every morning and getting to the 10 AM exercise class. She was feeling so well after rehab taught her how to walk properly and exercise daily. She was so strong and she stopped complaining about her aching knees and back. She was walking so well, barely using her walker and was getting around the facility with no help from anyone. The best part was Mom’s memory improved dramatically after she learned to take deep breaths and drink lots of fluid. Our mother was back and we could have intelligent conversations with her again. It was wonderful!!

We hired a caregiver to come in every morning from 8 until 10 to get Mom going, pick up her breakfast from the dining room and get her to exercise class. It was expensive, $75/day, but well worth it. After 3 weeks Mom said she didn’t need help so we discontinued the service. We decided it was best to let her try it on her own since she was doing so well. Of course the first day she was on her own, she didn’t make it to the 10 AM exercise class but she did make it to the 4 PM stretching class. Her apartment slowly became messier because the caregiver wasn’t there to clean up every morning. Soon Mom started misplacing things like the television remote, the telephone, her cell phone and bills. We thought we had all the bills transferred to my address but she called and changed her address at some point.

Now Mom is constantly dizzy and not feeling well. We constantly remind her that she needs to drink lots of water and exercise daily to feel better. She agrees but then forgets how well she felt just a few weeks ago. It’s so frustrating for us because we see how well she can do on her own with a little water and exercise but she just can’t function without some help. She’s frustrated too but doesn’t want a caregiver coming in every day. She says she want’s to do it by herself but reality is that she just can’t take care of herself anymore.

Are you having the same issues with you parents? Let me know how you’re coping with the anger/frustration/sadness in the comments.

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