Doctor, Doctor…
I keep hearing the Robert Palmer song, Doctor Doctor (Bad Case of Loving You) when my mother tells me how many doctor’s appointments she has every week.
This week she had seven doctor/alternative healing/massage/reflexology appointments. Every day she has a busy schedule running all over Marin county looking for the “magic pill” that’s going to make her feel better.
Mom has arthritis. She wakes up every day stiff and has trouble moving until she gets out of bed and starts moving around. I’m stiff in the morning and need to stretch when I wake up to get the kinks out. But Mom thinks she should wake up pain free every morning so she’s on a quest to beat father time.
Mom complains that she’s tired all the time. I’d be tired too if I was constantly running around to doctor’s appointments. She’s almost 79 years old so of course you don’t have the energy you had when you were 29. But Mom still thinks theres a magic pill or a doctor that can restore her energy.
The biggest problem is that Mom is one of those people tha thinks out loud so she’s constantly talking about every ache and pain. It’s a constant monolog of complaining and I’m really tired of hearing it. I keep telling her to focus on positive thoughts and what’s going well for her but she constantly sees the glass as half empty. She’ll never change this late in life because she doesn’t want to change. She prefers to focus on the “poor me” attitude which she’s had all of her life. It’s going be a long road so I have to keep taking deep breaths and counting to 5 before I respond to her negativity.
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Comments on Doctor, Doctor… »
Ted. in our family instead of counting to 5 before we speak we take “shut up pills”. This works for a while but sometimes you have to just speak your frustrations becuase to keep them held in check all the time isn’t good for you. Our parents have so little to focus on these days, that they are the center of their universe. For your mom and our mom they have always wanted to be the center of attention. We get bored listening to the same litney. It is not like being a parent to a toddler, knowing that they will out grow this stage. Just keep counting to 5 or we will lend you our pills. Hang in there Paige and Eileen
Yes! my mom is the same way! She lives in a nursing home (which is depressing in itself as she’s only 59) but she won’t do anything other than bark orders and lay in bed just being miserable! Ahhh!!!!
I think people pretty much become more exaggerated versions of themselves later in life and at the end. If they complained a lot when they were younger, they’ll complain even more, if they worried a lot, they’ll worry right up until the end, if they were happy and inspired, they’ll find a way to be happy and inspired even as their body and mind go into decline. Best to accept them as they are, love them the best you can, and take care of yourself in the process…exercise some boundaries.